Faith and Sexuality

Different religions have taken different approaches to religion and sexuality.

Religious individuals such as some monks, yogi's and catholic priests believe that, for them celibacy (abstaining from marriage and sexual relations), is the most conducive to their views of spirituality. 

Other religious individuals such as some Christians, Latter-day Saints, and Muslims believe that, for them, heterosexual relationships are most conducive to their views on spirituality. 

Some others believe that if and individual has homosexual attraction, that engaging in homosexual relations is the best thing for their welfare.

Which is right? We should all get to chose. Certain lifestyles may not be conducive to certain religions. Heterosexual relations is not conducive to a celibate monk, and homosexual relations may not be conducive to the life of a temple-serving latter day Saint.

Some consider this hateful. Religious people are at times hateful, which is unfortunate in my opinion. Sometimes religious individuals behave much like those in the Bible in the book of Luke who caught the woman in adultery and accused her, bringing her with stones in their hands to Jesus. Hopefully, we will act more like Jesus, who defended the accused and with words, caused others to drop their stones and accusations.

1). God is Merciful and Just: whether someone chooses to live a celibate, heterosexual, or homosexual lifestyle, it is my belief that God loves them and will judge them with perfect mercy and justice. In my opinion, having the capacity to understand the ideals of justice and mercy is a Godly thing. Perhaps my understanding of these principles are insufficient, but to me, with my limited perspective, it would seem neither merciful-- nor just to eternally condemn everyone who was trying their best to do what was right regardless of their sexual orientation. 

2). The Purpose of Life: it is my belief that the purpose of life is to grow and learn through striving to follow the commandments of Jesus Christ. Experiencing mortality was and is essential to our eternal progress. Ultimately, we are striving to become united with God, through the teachings and example of Jesus Christ. We strive to live according to all that is good and strive to seek after charity, patience, kindness, self-control, and honesty. Much as lifting heavy weights causes our muscles to grow, similarly, striving to uphold these ideals and follow the teachings and example of Jesus Christ can help us grow and progress as Spirit Children of the God. Frequently, a principle is too heavy to lift. Jesus has promised to help us and make up for our inadequacies as we strive to trust in Him.

3). The Purpose of Sexuality: it is my belief that sex exists primarily to provide physical bodies for the Spirit Children of God, so that other people have the opportunity to experience mortality. Sex also has the capacity to help bind married individuals together. Sex can also be pleasurable for some people at certain times of their life. The primary purpose of life is not sexual satisfaction, neither is the primary purpose of sex to be optimally stimulated with pleasure.

4). The Nature of Love: I often hear people saying "Love is Love", but there may not be a more ambiguous word in the english language than "love". Lets review a few different kinds of "love".

Eros (passionate love), Pragma (enduring love), Ludus (playful love), Agape (universal love), Philia (deep friendship), Philautia (self-love), Storge (familial love), Mania (obsessive love).

I can think of several more types of love yet beyond these, and I would also make a distinction between romantic and erotic love. Though not everyone thinks this way, a person can want to be married to someone and feel attracted to them in the sense of wanting to be in a long-term committed relationship with them, without feeling sexual or erotic feelings in that moment. A person can also be experiencing sexual or erotic feelings without having a deep kind of attraction resulting in a desire to be in a committed long-term relationship.

My belief is that the purpose of life and the purpose of sexuality is not primarily to seek out and obtain optimal sexual satisfaction in the most sexually stimulating way possible. Sexual stimulation and satisfaction can result in a lot of pleasure for many people and can sometimes be a part of a committed relationship, but this is certainly not always the case for everyone. Many married couples do not feel sexually erotic towards one another, though they may love each other in every other way.

Very frequently married couples will have sexually stimulating feelings towards people who they are not married to, whether it be an adulterous relationship or a pornographic image. Sigmund Freud had strong sexual attraction towards his mother. Some feel that to "be true to yourself" one must pursue sexual satisfaction through their optimal sexual preferences and then identify by those sexual preferences. Others feel that regardless of whatever sexual or romantic encounters might be the most stimulating and engaging, that they will align their behaviors and orientation to their morals and standards, rather than their preferences.

5). Freedom of choice:  We all get to choose what behaviors we will engage in and how we will orient ourselves amidst a large host of tendencies. I don't think there is any worthy benefit to shame or persecute people because they choose to behave or orient themselves in a way that is consistent with the life of a celibate, homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual. Each of us gets to choose the kind of life that we will live. Certain lifestyles are consistent with certain religious practices. Heterosexual behaviors may not be conducive with the celibate lifestyle of a Yogi, Monk, Nun or Priest. Homosexual behaviors may not be conducive with the lifestyle of a Temple covenanted Latter-Day Saint, but that does not make it justifiable to ridicule or condemn someone who chooses to live in a way that is different. Ultimately, however we choose to live may be a beneficial step to our growth and learning-- even the mistakes and misteps. We cannot know whether we have the ability to accurately judge another, so it is best to abstain from condemning others. Even the Savior, who IS the judge, abstained from being numbered among thr accusers. But this does not mean that he did not encourage the way of life consistent with The commandments of His Father when he said "neither do I accuse thee. Go and sin no more". Jesus did not praise the woman for acting on a sexual tendency; he did not join a parade encouraging people to engage in the sexual tendency of which she had been accused of, but he did defend the woman from her accusers by saying "let him who is without sin first cast a stone at her". Jesus is the only one there who could have cast a stone under those conditions, but he said "neither do I accuse thee". The world needs more charity, not more accusers. This does not mean that we do not teach the doctrines and commandments of our Father in Heaven, but we do so without accusarions and without throwing stones--physical or metaphorical.

6). The LDS perspective: The LDS way of life is not the same as the way of life that others choose to live. We should not condemn others because they choose to live differently. In the church of Jesus Christ, it is taught that it is ideal, if reasonably possible, for a woman to marry a man if they feel inclined and capable, to have children if possible. Not only can this provide bodies for the Spirits of Gods Children, but it also creates ideal opportunities for growth and progression. Ideals are not always possible, and so individuals do the best that they reasonably can. If reasonably possible, in the LDS religion, it is ideal to stay committed to your spouse and children to provide for them and to keep all sexual behavior only between the husband and wife. Even if a person might be more sexually stimulated by another heterosexual or homosexual (or any other) relation outside of their marriage, this behavior is not encouraged, praised or paraded. The viewing of pornography to satiate sexual stimulation is also not encouraged, praised or paraded. Staying true to ones spouse to the best of your ability in both thought and action can be the most difficult thing in the world, but is also considered to be an objective that will allow for optimal spiritual progression in this life and the next. If someone is not able to maintain that, then support and encouragement can be given, but shaming and condemning them is not appropriate.